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Character study: Speech

Repost, don’t reblog!

# 𝙾𝙵 𝚂𝙿𝙾𝙺𝙴𝙽 𝙻𝙰𝙽𝙶𝚄𝙰𝙶𝙴𝚂: 1 / 2 / 3 + .

𝚃𝙾𝙽𝙴 𝙾𝙵 𝚅𝙾𝙸𝙲𝙴: high / average / deep.
𝙰𝙲𝙲𝙴𝙽𝚃: yes / no.
𝙳𝙴𝙼𝙴𝙰𝙽𝙾𝚁: confident / shy / approachable / hostile / other.
𝙿𝙾𝚂𝚃𝚄𝚁𝙴: slumped / straight / stiff / relaxed.
𝙷𝙰𝙱𝙸𝚃𝚂: head tilting / swaying / fidgeting / stuttering / gesturing / arm crossing / strokes chin / er, um, or other interjections / plays with hair or clothing / hands at hips / inconsistent eye contact / maintains eye contact / frequent pausing / stands close / stands at distance.

𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐗𝐈𝐓𝐘.
𝚅𝙾𝙲𝙰𝙱𝚄𝙻𝙰𝚁𝚈: ◼◼◼◼◻
𝙴𝙼𝙾𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽: ◼◼◼◼◻
𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚂𝚃𝚁𝚄𝙲𝚃𝚄𝚁𝙴: ◼◼◼◼◻

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐘.
𝙵𝚁𝙴𝚀𝚄𝙴𝙽𝙲𝚈: ◼◼◼◻◻
𝙲𝚁𝙴𝙰𝚃𝙸𝚅𝙸𝚃𝚈: ◼◼◼◻◻

𝐁𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐋𝐘.
arse. ass. asshole. bastard. bitch. bloody. bugger. bollocks. chicken shit. crap. cunt. dick. frick. fuck. horseshit. motherfucker. piss. prick. screw. shit. shitass. son of a bitch. twat. wanker. pussy.

𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐗𝐓.
christ on a bike. christ on a cracker. damn. goddamn. godsdamn. hell. holy shit. jesus. jesus christ. jesus h christ. jesus h. roosevelt christ. lord have mercy. jesus, mary and joseph. sweet jesus.

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓
contractions or enunciation? straightforward or cryptic? jargon or toned? complexity or simplicity? finding the right word or using the first word that comes to mind? masculinity, neutrality, or femininity? formalities or abrasiveness? praise or equivocation? frankness or lies? excessive or minimal hand gestures? name-calling or magnanimity? friendly or blunt nicknames?

𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.

𝙳𝙾 𝙿𝙴𝙾𝙿𝙻𝙴 𝙷𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝙰 𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙳 𝚃𝙸𝙼𝙴 𝚄𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙾𝚁 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁? almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never.

𝙳𝙾𝙴𝚂 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁’𝚂 𝙿𝙾𝙸𝙽𝚃 𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙴 𝙰𝙲𝚁𝙾𝚂𝚂 𝙴𝙰𝚂𝙸𝙻𝚈 𝚆𝙷𝙴𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚈 𝚂𝙿𝙴𝙰𝙺 ? almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never.

𝚆𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙸𝙽𝙸𝚃𝙸𝙰𝚃𝙴 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂? almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never.

𝚆𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙱𝙴 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙾𝙽𝙴 𝚃𝙾 𝙴𝙽𝙳 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂? almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never.

𝚆𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝚄𝚂𝙴 ‘𝚆𝙷𝙾𝙼’ 𝙸𝙽 𝙰 𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴? yes / no / only ironically.

𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝚆𝙰𝙽𝚃𝚂 𝚃𝙾 𝙼𝙰𝙺𝙴 𝙰 𝙲𝙾𝚄𝙽𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙿𝙾𝙸𝙽𝚃. 𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙳 𝙳𝙾 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚈 𝚄𝚂𝙴? but / though / although / however / perhaps / mayhaps

𝙷𝙾𝚆 𝙳𝙾𝙴𝚂 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙴𝙽𝙳 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂? walk away / ask if that’s everything / say that that’s everything / give a proper goodbye / tell their company they’re done here / remain quiet / they don’t.

𝙷𝙾𝚆 𝙳𝙾𝙴𝚂 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙰𝙳𝙳𝚁𝙴𝚂𝚂 𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁𝚂? titles / first names / surnames / full names / nicknames.

𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝚂𝙾𝙲𝙸𝙰𝙻 𝙲𝙻𝙰𝚂𝚂 𝚆𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳 𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁𝚂 𝙰𝚂𝚂𝚄𝙼𝙴 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙱𝙴𝙻𝙾𝙽𝙶𝚂 𝚃𝙾, 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝙼 𝚂𝙿𝙴𝙰𝙺? upper / middle / lower.

𝙸𝙽 𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝚆𝙰𝚈𝚂 𝙳𝙾𝙴𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙰𝚈 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝚂𝙿𝙴𝙰𝙺 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙾𝚄𝚃 𝚃𝙾 𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁𝚂? accent / vocabulary / tone / level / politeness / brusqueness / it doesn’t.

[Sometimes I just amuse myself with thoughts about the kind of entities that Saima just gets oddly.. fascinated with from time to time. Whether they do anything with such interest remains to be seen. (often not but.. that’s.. a lot of previous experiences weighing on them there)

Like obviously those involved with creative work, music, storytelling, nature, travel, crossroads, and mischief tend to really pique their fancy. Kind of seeing that kind of potential for commonality and adventure across those things.

But honestly they really just like exploring the ways many embody what they are supposed to be associated with. And cause they do like seeing those kinds of perspectives vary depending on the content, time and the individual being in a given situation, they just find themselves with a curiosity that often leads them into strange places internally, and strange places in general. But the latter is a lot easier for them to handle.

Since it’s all just ah.. being on the margins of what can be perceived? Cool. This curiosity turning into something I’m trying to process and feel somewhat embarrassed about? Why.]
---

Saima definitely idealizes happiness most. Although they have worked a lot towards trying to fit some kind of success in spite of what they have been through. Having such a history of trying to navigate through challenging experiences and help others to the best of their abilities..I think what is ultimately more important to them is finding some kind of happiness.

This is especially important since they have sacrificed a lot of what would have made them happy for the sake of duty and obligation to others over very long periods of time, and that often had taken a toll on them that they are still.. recovering from. And the circumstance has changed enough that they can actually focus on pursuing what works for them and makes them more comfortable in both serving others and respecting and caring for themselves along the way.
----
What would completely break my character? Saima feels like they’ve been through enough experiences that were made to at least try and break them. And frankly, sometimes those experiences got pretty close. It’s those experiences of subjugation, lack of freedom, lack of ability to move - to go, to help out when they could. A lot of those things that are also afraid of - especially since so many of these fears are memories of what has recently and not-so-recently come to pass in the lands that they hold closest to them.

The overarching fear though is that they are unable to keep the stories that have built up people’s beliefs …and to see those stories forever lost, forever dismissed and discontinued. Because of either outside forces suppressing them or things changing at a rate that they can not adjust to.

In terms of making a scene, any attempts of subjugating those they care for, those they look after and try to protect. That would easily provoke a scene-making action - yelling, fighting, showing signs of their true selves to scare the hell out of anyone who would try it. When they see a harm and people don’t feel able to take it into their own hands, they are all too willing to make a point out of it. Even despite coming about in a place where making a scene tends to be avoided whenever possible. They prefer doing things on the sly to make a change and have done so before, but they are not above doing whatever is necessary to get the wrongdoing to stop.

Leaving kisses, touches, traces.

Perhaps that was the way they chose to admire. No, that they needed to admire. Longing gazes, studying from a distance could only do so much. The wishfulness inside would build so much. It was a wonder that Saima had ever managed to keep things internal so often. And yet, those were the only tools that Saima had available for so long. Having to keep their attractions, their feelings to themselves. Perhaps they just had gotten used to it. It was a terrible habit and breaking it all the more difficult. One often carried the burden of desire with the nagging thought of inadequacy in the midst of their desires.

Dreaming of kissing the divine. To see in others what they had hidden in themselves. In celebrating what was coming to the surface and transforming their existence as they understood it. To kiss the divine, to share in that delight, to perform the acts of which they wished for was a delight. To admit, to whisper - the thoughts, lines, and lines of which had been spun within them. To place small kisses - cheeks, jaws, shoulders, neck. Only to suggest dreams of further attention, of further connection. They dare relish in the cravings for shared affection, entanglement even.

Coming a little closer, movement as if performing an old dance, Saima allows themselves the space to touch. Let their graceful fingers filled with magic to caress, to affectionately lay on the build of their beloved. Fingers that will pull a little bit closer, just a little. They love the tension before the crash, they relish the dance that only seems to build. Hands, hands - most wondrous things. It’s all too amazing the worship that they can provide. Let the age, the experience stored away come through in every step that they take.

In a collision, mouths meet all too willing to make movements to consume each other more. The adrenaline, the energy rushing through is hard to bear and harder to contain. Yet it only drives these sorts even further into delirium - seeking out that combination of worship that could set places ablaze. It feels like there’s entirely too much for the world to stand. And maybe there is - but what is that to those who made the world, who hold the world, who watch over this planet still. What is that to those whose stories haunt the mortals still even in the smaller forms of references of more ‘modern’ media. It is of no matter. Articulate thoughts dare not form in the midst of the collision, only bringing beings closer and closer together.

Saima’s touches always get a little more purposeful - less teasing and more desirous. The pulls a little fiercer, the way that their fingers can dig just so into the body of their beloved. They know not what way they will end up but as long as they are close, unbearably so - with the weight of a partner pressed against them tight, they can only be content. An unspoken plea: Please let them feel so much, too much upon them in one way or another. To create a whole another way of being, to shine in the glory of losing control, if only for a moment - they could wish for nothing more.

Saima's physical changes.

( Read more... )

It’s kind of strange how the fire makes you feel huh?

Many times they have seen those accused burn. A few times they would have burned themselves if not for evading capture at the exact right moment. One time they have actually burned.

At the stake, accused of witchcraft, guilty of so much more. Bright eyes stared out at the accusers who stared them down. If Saima had taken any reasonable escape action, it would have only served to proved the point of how ‘demonic’ they were. But would the sight of them burning provide any more satisfaction?

If anything, the feeling of the flames was…comforting. It sent them back into another time, another place. Another world even - one before this one. One that had trickled down to this world through stories. And yet here were their people burning them for bringing some of this old faith with them. Such was the cost of the new faith spreading on the land and the fears that likely came with it.

The fire grew higher and higher while Saima could only close their eyes and think. They let the fire swallow them whole, it was then and only then could they escape before everyone’s eyes without attracting notice. If it took looking like a sacrifice, a prisoner for the ages - so be it. They were always skilled at playing to the situation when it suited them.

The warmth cradled them and somehow only brought them more strength, more ability to survive. It was certainly contrary to the purpose of these burnings but who would be the wiser for it? It would be a secret that Saima would carry after this period was over. After all, they would be the only one to make it way, way into the future when all of this would only be history.

It had been the early 20th century. The failure of the Revolution at home had been driving many people to leave. And while Saima had every intention of sticking around their homeland to help the folks back home, circumstances had suggested that something else would be the case.

After all, they had heard rumblings of their people settling elsewhere. In a place with vast, vast amounts of land. Something had started to tug at them even though they were hard placed to explain exactly why. This had been a few years before in the late 1890s - but they had managed to resist leaving. There had been an attempt at Russification lately and they couldn’t afford to leave their people just then.

But after 1905, the rumblings seem to return - getting too persistent for the old God to fully ignore, no matter how attached they were. Perhaps the need to actually move somewhere was starting to get to them. They had wandered all over Estonia several times over, multiple times over even. Maybe it was time to establish this pattern somewhere new.

Those with a strong need to try again elsewhere to established something else had needed to take something with them. And it was a rather bright youth with a talent for storytelling, for music, for poetry - who had called to Saima. Someone who they had spent some time with, whose faith in them was truly invigorating. He had a need to leave and enthusiastically, desperately wanted Saima to come over with him.

There had to be something or someone who could bring the old stories with them over to this vast foreign land. Why not go to the direct source themselves? Saima had kept the stories, the visions of their memories and helped spread them initially. This youth, this young man had an incredibly faith that Saima’s efforts were needed where he was going - to a place where not many people would be like him and his family.

Between the natural need for this spirit-like God to wonder and the wishes of someone who had been so devoted, so exemplary in what Saima had patroned - there was really no real choice. The need to go was there and so the deity went.

And talk about a shock. The sheer amount of land, the seemingly ridiculous amount of people. It had overwhelmed Saima for a while - left them feeling incredibly vulnerable in a place where they could be so readily passed by without a blink of an eye. They lurked among those they had traveled with, witnessing the way that they would set up in major cities in fairly crowded conditions. A major difference to someone used to having so much space.

How confining. How…fascinating.

And so they tried to work their magic in this new land - sticking to those within the community at first, if only to break out of their nerves. And even that required some travel - flitting between cities on the East Coast and slowly making their way across the country. The Midwest, the West Coast - How did a place have so much damn land?

It became readily apparent to Saima that even though they were spreading a connection to the beliefs of home - even in the turmoultous times that this century would bring, there was entirely too much to learn about this new world. About the new ‘magic’ that was starting to arise.

And to be fair, Saima wasn’t even sure how long they would stay in this new world. Perhaps they had figured maybe a few years to make sure people were set up. Surely that would be enough to get a handle on things. But they found themselves needing more and more time - those that had their company had wished, donated, prayed for them to stick around in some way.

And how could they really say no?

And with World War 2 causing a whole another wave of their people to come over, Saima’s chances of returning started to dimmen by the decade. There were just too much here to risk leaving, and too much people they had to help establish.

So the routine had started to establish - the community had found themselves in urban centers and so in cities Saima would survive. Working with storytellers, musicians, writers - spreading stories of the mythos, of the beliefs that needed to be kept alive be any means necessary. The point was the stories, not of them. Not much anyway.

And yet, to survive they found themselves performing anyway. Picking tools as time went by but mostly singing and tutoring - providing services as a way to support their existence. If a song, a story, a poem would help sustain them all that much longer, Saima would inspire it or perform it themselves. They had never been no good for making a bit of a spectacle of themselves.

It hadn’t been a journey of finding other Gods, although Saima had been certain that they were out there. And maybe had picked up a few skills from some of the newer ones along the way, all for the sake of remaining at least a little bit relevant..

It seemed that Saima would be busier than ever - roaming and performing, teaching and exploring - finding this craving, this need to make the most of this hopelessly vast land. Even as outdone and lost as they felt in the midst of it all. And while the original causes of their travel here had long passed on - their descendants had established networks - a way to stay connected with the culture of home. And one would be foolish to think that Saima had not been seizing the opportunities presented by these networks.

It was the way to stay alive. It was their only choice.

To know someone truly carrying the burden of the universe.

@ghostlymuses [cause i had this drafted a while back and was like…hmm let’s post it.]

And Saima thought they had so much responsibility. But this association, this closeness with one forced into such a position inspires a lot of introspection. For as difficult as moments could be, and as many sacrifices Saima had made in trying to look after the traditions, the land, the residents, they still had so much choice.

So many ways for which to carry out their duties. Almost to the point that it rarely felt like much of a burden at all, more of a calling than anything else. They dare not lessen the struggles they faced - but it seemed all the more besides the point.

Out in the nighttime, gazing at the stars, they find themselves gazing at the ones punished with the weight of the universe. To carry, to undergo so much, and to hear the intent, the desire to make up for it all. It moved them in a way that they couldn’t let Atlas do so alone. At least not entirely.

Surely, they were not in any position to directly alleviate that burden. But if being around, of staying close to him was going to be of any comfort, Saima found themselves all too willing to do so. Perhaps there was an admiration aspect to being around, a fondness that drove Saima’s desire to be of service, to be helpful in the face of such overwhelming responsibility. And so they desperately hoped that being compassionate, supportive and expressing legitimate interest in Atlas’ experiences would help any at all. If only they could be someone Atlas could turn to, that would bring Saima some comfort that is rarely found.

A pause in their thinking, who was Saima to kid themselves. Of course, there was an admiration, an underlying fascination that accompanied the need to be of service, to be close, to be of use. While as self-contained as ever, they couldn’t help but relish the idea of letting moments pull them closer to the Titan, in exchanges of stories, sly glances, soft touches, and getting lost in the managing of existence long past their ‘expiration dates’. Oh how they longed to run a hand gently against him, they didn’t even have a good explanation as to why. They just knew that the impulse was there and only a bit of caution would stop it. And even that wasn’t ignored all the time.

Although Atlas had been prone to some ridiculous moments, the wandering entity found it hard to judge. After all - being in existence for so long, every one of their kind was likely to be involved in some embarrassing incidents from time to time. Even if the Titan found himself a bit more vulnerable so such random ideas.

Still, traits like that always made Saima more endeared to him. To those with so much to handle and a deep consideration, a wisdom about dealing with it all. To those with such strength and yet potential for so much vulnerability. If nothing else, Saima liked to be someone who found a way to improve the lives of those they were close too. And this would be no exception.

This is where you’ll see some thoughts on S. Vaher in the future I can probably find some things but for starters

Saima - which is a reference to Saimaa Lake.

Kristjan - middle name taken in honor of Kristjan Jaak Peterson known as the founder of modern Estonian poetry and a herald of Estonian national literature

Vaher - meaning “maple"

Species: A cross between a kodukaija, a restless visiting spirit and a mythic deity who maintains the spirit of mythology and folklore. Used to play a representative in emergencies. True form resembles this

Connected to Vanemuine, Estonian god of arts, songs and literature. Was looked after and mentored by him at an early age. Likely takes on a lot of responsibilities of storytelling in the modern day as a result of his influence.

Gender: Non-Binary, specifically Agender. Refer to them with they/them pronouns. a bit on the femme side of things tbh

Basically, they are a transfeminine genderless person.

For practicality purposes - it’s fine for your muse to be aware of Saam’s they/them or rough equivalent pronouns. If further questions are warranted, feel free to ask.

Note: likely to take on a more soft and androgynous appearance over time if not in formal situations. Growing out hair til about shoulder length. May pin hair back for meetings, long sweaters, tunic tops, button-down shirts(those remain a staple), lip color may not be a surprise. Skirts and dresses are casual additions to their wardrobe.

Age: late-20s physically (27-30), actual age - unknown. Current physical form is roughly around 2000, first appearance associated with Pre-Roman Iron Age and the development of identity in the Northern, Southern and Western Estonian regions. They more than likely did not appear alone. Have been in existence before that in an ethereal form - but this is associated with their taking up a more physical form on a regular basis.

Height : 180 cm - actually 181 cm.

Eye color - somewhere on the blue-green spectrum, looking a little bit more blue looking at first glance with prominent hints of green coming through upon closer looks. Roughly A30 on this chart

Weight - 161 lbs

Build - resembles this slim with light definition, more tone in the legs and arms. Actually has some curve in their hips. Their figure has always been somewhat slight with little hints of curvature. It’s just now healthier and a little more toned than in the past. Though their slightness have caused some issues in the past - in combination with the general softness of their appearance.

The best way of defining their build is comfortably lean - a little bit on the wiry side, something of a runner’s body. There is some visible muscle - especially in their arms and legs.

While Saima isn’t strictly a historical figure, they have witnessed and adjusted to the effects of Estonian history throughout the ages. And therefore, here are some links if you’d want to check that out for more context.

http://www.visitestonia.com/en/about-estonia/estonian-culture/estonian-history-a-timeline-of-key-events

http://www.estonica.org - an encyclopedia about Estonia that I have fallen into the rabbit hole on more than once.

Height approx 6 ft
Age: Unknown. They’ve already lived several lifetimes prior to this current physical form which is roughly 2000+ years old. Albeit this is their first semi-consistent physical form. Any previous incidents had been one-off situations from their more ethereal nature.
Is pretty good at seeming collected and alright even if they’re quite far from it. So it’s not exactly an easy thing to try and gauge their mood from their appearance since they can look just fine while the mind be running a mile a minute over something that causes him quite a bit of anxiety.
Saima did not take well to having someone else’s religion foisted onto them by force. In fact, they’ve taken to disrupting attempts of religion and keeping the traditional faiths apparent in one form or another throughout the years through tradition. As a result, they do spend a lot of time with modern pagans since they do seem to feel very comfortable around those kinds of believers.
prior to the invention of computers, had a lot of interest in farming for the longest and continues to keep up a garden and a decent backyard. additionally has studied about a variety of weapons over time, interested in engineering and mechanics outside of computer technology though the latter is the specialty these days.
During the time when the people were forced to practice Christianity, they never actually believed in said religion preferring to keep to their own beliefs secretly - and in fact was more than likely to encourage others to maintain their own folklore during times of oppression.
Is a geek about a variety of things..obviously.
Because I don’t think I’ve mentioned this, they’re a Linux dork. Doesn’t much care if you use other systems but..they really aren’t the most fond of the Mac OS really.
Loves electronic music, traditional songs and goes into different genres every now and again(including some indie based genres..and melodic death metal(specifically Ceremonial Perfection , I have reasons behind this I swear)
Usually doesn’t mind being alone, but when any mention of romance or love comes up, especially goes into awkward mode as they hadn’t had much experience that haven’t been unrequited. When they are capable of developing feelings Saam never feels like those affections will be returned. And thus has been guilty of purposely keeping feelings to themselves and suffering instead.
As it turns out, they are somewhat capable of feelings but it does freak them out internally when they do - so it makes them fairly reluctant to actually act on those feelings. And the whole process still confuses him as to what it even means.
Has a bit of guilt due to their distant nature that is rather pervasive throughout behavior, especially since a lot of their modern colleagues may not be fully aware of their true nature.
Can get irritated about being polite to people and getting shit for it in return. But generally, tries to treat people with a bit of respect. Doesn’t take well to condescending attitudes at all
fascinated by ideas that never was but could have been and by ideas of what could be - mostly because chances are they’ve encountered a realm where those ideas are real and true.
Really interested in magic and other supernatural, paranormal things but tends to keep their interest secret. Because it is connected to who they really are at heart. They have a strong love of mythology since it helps maintain their sense of self.
In addition to attending metal shows, they makes a point to attend all the synthpop and electronic music shows they can. They rather taken by Elegant Machinery [swedish] Apoptygma Berserk[Norwegian] and And One [German] and Pet Shop Boys
Noted Estonian bands they enjoy include Ans. Ander, Pia Fraus, Ceremonial Perfection, Popidiot. Although they are always open to enjoy a local group’s work.
As for dancing, in more formal dances they seems to have some sort of natural grace for those.. never been big on practicing them over and over but they seem to do pretty well when it’s called for. In more party like situations, they tends to mostly move his feet and their arms pretty quickly..it’s awkward but it’s fun to watch and not necessarily terrible.Just a little strange. More thoughts on dancing, their movements can alternate between a bit jerky or a bit on the languid side of things. It’s interesting and can look pretty good with the right song.
Teasing: while not particularly minding joking wise, and will go along for a quite a bit of teasing, Saam’s breaking point is when someone as a joke more than likely says something that accidentally pierces some of their opinions about their flaws. At that point, they may not say anything about it but it’ll be clear that something happened. Usually, a nervous laugh preceding a long bout of silence
Sometimes play video games, not likely to marathon them as often but it happens from time to time.
tends to run their hands through hair a lot. A nervous habit they suppose.
Is actually an entertaining drunk, takes a while to actually get drunk due to not binging too often but when Saima’s drunk is prone to dancing and singing quite a bit.And is mostly coherent.Just rather silly. Well, a few drinks may bring out a bit of silliness..but drunk, they just starts putting on a performance of sorts. It’s been increasingly difficult to get them drunk since they’ve started reconnecting with their internal self.
Saima is more than likely a gray-romantic gray-asexual (a big blob of ambivalence and casual interest) of some kind. They’ve had more relations with girls [which admittedly isn’t very much enough to have a general idea of what they like]but has done enough with other genders to be casual about the whole thing.. - but it isn’t overall a big deal if they gets any or not. They’ve gone long periods without and been just fine. It’s just not a priority to them
Sometimes when they get particularly irritable and it seems to not have a particular cause, they thinks about the things that frustrate them and may end up coming off a wee bit bitter. Calm but still bitter and sardonic as all get out because they don’t give a shit at the moment in time. -please excuse the language-
When the weather gets nice..do not be surprised if you see Saima out on a rather large kiik-swing. They’re quite fond of partaking in kiiking..gives them quite a bit of adrenaline..and also he can use physics and math to determine how to swing well prior to doing so./nerd even when having some active times.
Is a hopeless Cracked.com addict. has read all of the articles several times over and gets rather bored and a bit irritable really when they don’t update the site.
For some reason or another, prefers to introduce themselves as Saam or Saima. In the past, they’ve answered to Estonia but have been emphasized their preference to be called Saima instead these days. They’d consider themselves a spirit - but they might be closer to some kind of divine presence.
Because they are removing themselves from the political sphere, it is becoming more common that Saima will insist on being called Saima. Since they are less likely to show up to large meetings - only on an emergency case are they called in.
Has taken up the habit of running in the morning, helps start the day at the very least. And wake them up for some reason. Not sure what exactly inspired it. Maybe the overall private urge to just get outside.
new reaction headcanon: whenever they are surprised by someone suddenly they gets one of these silent heart attacks where they don’t quite jump but it’s clear that they seem a little.. shocked. afterwards, S. gets rather shy and embarrassed afterwards.
So. From now on, I’ll be using Erika Linder more as Saam’s primary fc.

“The funny thing about myths, they have a way of adapting with the times.”

If Saima couldn’t testify to that, it was a mystery really who could. Although they would be the first to admit that it is the will of the people, the land and all these factors that allow myth to continue to flourish in unexpected ways.

These tales had been rumored to be constructed. A result of traditions lost with the ever-changing nature of who was in control of the land, who was in control of the people. Outside influences would mark their territory in an attempt to wipe out the nature of homegrown stories and heroes. History had a way of trying its best under a number of guises.

Despite all this, folklore and song had continued on - managing to survive well into the modern era. Shifting in order to continue.

In the beginning, the very beginning - there had been many things. A large tree to which the sky is nailed, a bird hatching eggs - forming a trilogy - the sun, the moon and the earth. A crater into the ground forming the land and the features of it. Sky gods, and giants - great heroes whose adventures would live on forever and ever. Tricksters and demons, tales of outsmarting obstacles before you. The inherent value of wit in out tricking the trickery. All these things once were and in a way, still are. If only through reporting - if only through letting the songs of such tales continue.

Out of such a beginning, there comes a wandering spirit, someone imbued with the magic and soul of the mythos. Someone who was fated to have their memories bridge the early beginnings and the march of time ongoing. Someone all too close to the Old Wizard of songs, one trained, taught - inspired to keep a dedication to the art of song, literature, and folklore. What relation to dear Vanemuine they have is unknown - but a deep bond is there, that is what they can say for sure. They’ve already lived many a lifetime - only to take on yet another one, this time undertaking a number of roles. And for the first time, they would pursue a physical form in addition to the ethereal self that felt truer and cozier. There would be risks and sacrifices made in pursuing a physical form from time to time - but if it ensured the survival of their home, this spirit would figure it was worth it. And with that risk would come experience, the opportunity to learn more directly of what could have inspired the continuation of such lore. It turns out learning was such a passion of this spirit, that it motivated them to keep around for a while - letting themselves mature once more among others - not like them but vaguely similar in a distant way. It was through such learning that they picked up the ability to play at roles, to take on responsibilities for a time or two - just to ensure things would continue. It seemed like a useful ability to have. And besides, it allowed them to pursue interests, fascinations that would arise with the developments of their homeland. For all their restlessness, they did have a desire to help, a desire to encourage and inspire in any way that they could.

In surviving the impacts of history, this being would flit in and out the presence of their people - bringing a touch of the mythos with them. If only to keep everything ongoing, to inspire a will to survive - and if that meant direct intervention or playing a representative, so it would go. But the restlessness, the wandering nature of such a spirit could never be contained. For no manner how much they loved their people, their home - such a spirit could never be kept under anyone’s control. For all the lifetimes they had lived, the visions they had seen and seen spread among their homeland, those experiences have given them much more of a will than they’d otherwise imagine. A will that they would be foolish not to further act on if given the opportunity.

After all, one still has to keep wandering especially if that’s what they do best.